It is unfortunate, that I find myself coming back to this blog only at times I have chaos in my life. I suppose in a way its selfish, but at the very least therapeutic to write these prayers to Jesus.
My hope is that one day someone comes across these and it helps them. I want them to know that others are going through what their going through. I want them to know, that even in the darkest of times, they can come to Jesus with their burdens. Even in those times when we don’t understand the world around us, those times when God seems silent and we feel most alone and confused.
To be clear, I am here today because I have a loved one who is not well. My grandma has been ill for some time. For several months dementia has progressed, slowly eating away the person she was. She is non-verbal and has stopped eating. Just last night, on new-years-eve, she asperated her feeding tube and now is in ICU on life support.
It’s hard to think of her in this situation. Its difficult to gauge how much shes aware of what’s going on.
What’s worse, is that due to COVID, family is limited to visitation and I am hundreds of miles away from home…
Lots of thoughts can race through a persons head, as loved ones try to process what’s happening. Needless to say, its overwhelming, sad and discouraging. It can leave one angry and confused.
After hours of prayer and looking for meaning in what is happening, I can clearly say.. There isn’t any meaning to what is happening.
“For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” – Romans 14:8
The lot of mans existence is that one day we will no longer be here. No matter how we go through this world, in the end we are the Lords.
Whats been most comforting for me, is knowing that my loved ones are fully known and loved by God.
“Lord, You have searched me and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely.” Psalm 139:1-4
It doesnt matter if its you, or your loved one. God fully knows each of you. I invite you to take a moment to process and understand what it means to be ‘fully known’.
No matter where you are, what you do, what’s going on, you’re not alone.
“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6
Those you care for, are also surrounded by Gods love and is never alone.
In our worst days, when we are faced with the unthinkable, and we stare our most intimate fears in the eyes. — God is with us and he will not forsake us.
Forgive us of our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. If I have sinned against anyone, or you father, make it clear to me so that I can make it right and repent.
Thank you, for giving me people in my life that I love so genuinely that my heart breaks for them. I have been unbelievably blessed.
Father, help me see past my own flesh, and make sense of this world through your word. Forgive me when I falter at this.
Thank you for always being with me, and those whom I love.
Thank you for extending mercy, thank you for your gifts of healing and grace.
Continue to remind me Father, you got this.
I ask these things, because You are good God and I believe these are good.